Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays to everyone!!

Housewarming Party and the Cowboys

My friends Paul and Katie had a housewarming party so all of the friends and family could check out their new house. About 25 people came to the housewarming party and it ended up being a pretty good time.

The event started at 7 on Friday and it didn't end until the next day around noon. Paul thought it was a good idea, and it was, to get a keg for the party. The majority of the people showed up around 8. By midnight that same night, the keg was already floated. We had to quickly get a couple of cases of beer to just to make sure we had the rest of the night covered.

Of those 25 people that showed up, only 7 of stayed until morning. That was probably one of the biggest mistakes, because the next morning I felt horrible. It was probably due to the fact that a couple of us thought it was a great idea to do an outrageous number of shots and play a hardcore game of golf on the wii.

That night, which is now Saturday, I went to watch the Cowboys game at Ogle's house. The game was stupid. I couldn't believe that not only did we lose the final game at the old stadium, but the farewell special was hardly audible because the WB local news are retards.

Smell Like The Burger King

Have you ever wanted to get the type of ladies that the infamous Burger King gets? Well today is your lucky day then. Burger King is now sell a product that will let you smell like the King himself.

You can check out the spray here. The slogan for this awesome body spray is "Body spray of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat".

The crazy thing about this promotion is that it is not fake at all. You can actually buy the spray online and apparently it has become somewhat popular. Alot of people have been buying this product to either try and be funny or attempt show a person how little they care for one another.

Many people have wondered how the executives at the Burger King Headquarters though of this idea. Well, if you have every been to a Burger King, you just need to check out the BK Manager. As the whole world knows, every Burger King Manager is just knee deep in hot lady ass.

Hopefully I can get this spray this year for Christmas and be just like that overweight, middle aged, divorced, lonely, diabetic, bicycle ridding, still living with his parents Burger King Manager. Only one could hope to be so lucky.

3 Weeks Off From Work

I just want people to know that I have 3 weeks off from work and it is awesome.

I have been enjoying getting up everyday around 10 and not having to worry about work or anything involved with work. So far, my only "job" has been going out at night and gretting ready for a couple of huge parties that are going to occur in the near future. I have also gotten all of my Christmas shopping done, so that is also a big plus.

I am also planning on going to the Windstar Casino and lose some money knowing that if I did not take those weeks off, I would be saving money.

Helping Paul Move

Over the past weekend, I went and helped Paul and Katie move into their new home. Their apartment was located in Euless and they moved 6 minutes down the street to city called Bedford.

The move was horrible. It took all day and it wore me out, but it did end up being a lot of fun. Not only did we get everything moved out of their apartment in only one day, but we got to destroy a huge desk while doing it.

Paul had an old computer desk that he has had since birth and wanted to get rid of it. Obviously, giving the desk to someone in need or to a charity was not even considered to be a proper solution.

The only solution: throw the damn thing down a flight of stairs of course. It was the best decision that we had made that day. The flight of stairs was about 25 steps high and the desk had enough room to slide down the stairs. When Paul pushed the desk down the stairs, it rolled down smoothly at first, then near then second to last step, it completely shattered. The noise was horrific and some tenants came out of their apartment just to make sure everything was ok.

The nice about it was that fact that we got the whole thing on camera, oh and we finished setting up Paul and Katie's house with no problem at all.

Music Videos: Part 2

That is right folks, once again I am bored at work. So here are some more music videos that I think are pretty interesting to watch.

I Am In A Documentary

Yes it is true, I am in a documentary. Well, that is what people are calling it at least. Last February, my friend Jon and I went to meet some movie stars and apparently I made an impression on people. I met Malcolm McDowell and Kristina Klebe.

The makers of the documentary saw me talk to Kristina Klebe in the bar section and they interviewed me really quick. I am pretty sure they knew I was awesome because I kept on requesting the Bar DJ to play nothing but Journey, White Snake, and Bon Jovi.

Although I am at the end of the dvd for about 5 minutes, it is still pretty cool to say that I have been featured in a documentary. I know this is wishful thinking, but I am going to try and put myself on IMDB or Wikipedia to tell people about it.

So if you ever get bored and want to watch me make a fool out of myself, then you should check this documentary out.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was great this year. It started on Wednesday night with the Clegg's for their annual "Friends Thanksgiving Dinner". Basically at this event, all we do is drink as much wine as we possibly can and then make fun of each other.

After that, I went to Paul's apt for the weekly "Its Wednesday and I have a bottle of Jack so lets drink it" party. That was also a successful party of course.

On the actually Thanksgiving was spent with the family. We headed over to the Roach compound to enjoy a nice dinner and eat like crazy. I can't remember the last time I have eaten so much. The night ended with a game of Blockus and Peurto Rico over at Pete's.

I took it easy on Friday and went to the Stars game. I won two tickets to the game and thought it would be awesome to go, plus the seat were really close to the rink. But we lost. We played the San Jose Sharks and the basically molested the hell out of the Stars that night.

The festivities ended on Saturday with a party over at Pete and Jess' house for their annual "Saturday After Thanksgiving" Party. It was filled with tons of food, dominoes, washers, and way too much alcohol. Overall, it was a hell of a weekend.

Congrats to Eric and Kristin

Eric and Kristin finally had their first child. The two had a healthy daughter named Elizabeth. Congrats you two!

Beta Formal 2008

Instead of watching Texas Tech get bitch slapped by OU on Saturday, I went to my fraternity version of prom. The main difference is the we not only allow drinking, but we promote and highly recommend it.

My date, Cristina, and I had a pretty good. We sat with Ogle and his wife along with a few other couples and a couple of dateless guys. One was dateless because his girlfriend was out of town, the other was dateless because he has never had a date before.

We ate some good food and then the dancing started. Now I am now stranger to the dance floor, but apparently the good people at the Sheraton Hotel frown upon people in an altered state getting on top of the dinner tables and dancing. Then the party really began.

Everyone moved to the hotel lobby after we were "asked" to leave the two rooms that people had rented for the night due to noise complaints and people stealing the room numbers. We were in the lobby until 5 am, when we all decided to go to IHOP. I never had a meal that tasted so good before. And that was basically the night with some minor details that I had to leave out just because my mom might read this.

The Wrestler

Last night, a group of friends and I went to a free screening of the movie "The Wrestler". The movie was directed by Darren Aronofsky and starred Mickey Rourke and Marisa Tomei. This was probably one of the best movies I have seen in awhile.

To be honest, I am not a wrestling fan and I do not know much about the "sport". The movie is basically about a washed up has been who is trying to be the best like he use to be. That is all I want to say about the description because I don't want to give too much away. I went in to the movie obviously knowing that is about a wrestler, but I did not think it was going to be any where as near as good as it actually was.

After the movie, there was a short Q&A with the director and Academy Award Winner Marisa Tomei. The group that I saw the movie with wanted to see the movie in the very front row because we knew of the Q&A and we would have the best seat for that.

Now, before we all met up for the movie. I knew that I wanted to get Marisa Tomei's attention, but I didn't know exactly how I should go about doing that. Then it hit me like a bolt of lighting. I did what almost anyone would do if they were in my situation. I made a hat that proclaimed that I was absolutely nuts about her. And it worked like a champ.

While the moderator was beginning the Q&A, Ms. Tomei was glancing around the area and i guess just making sure that there were no real nut jobs in the place ready to stalk the hell out of her. This is the precise moment that she looked at me and my hat. She was officially wrangled.

She started to laugh a little and i pointed at my hat just to make sure that this is what made her laugh. And it was. At the end of the Q&A, she only signed a few autographs and I was one of them. She said that she liked my hat because it was a great way to get her attention. I also got to meet the Director of the movie and he seemed like a really cool guy. I always knew that I would one day hang out with an Academy Award Winning Actress and it was spectacular.

Music Videos

It seems that when I get bored at work, and trust me i get bored a lot at work, I tend to look up music videos to see what is new and the ones i have not seen in forever.

So instead about writing about all the videos that I are think are pretty cool, just click on the images and watch them for yourself.

Simple Podcast Turns to Late Night Debauchery

To be completely honest, I do not remember all of the details that occurred last night. I might have to "Quentin Tarantino" this story by telling you everything in reverse because that may help tell the story more accurately. All I know is that I woke up the following morning with a splitting headache and a stomach that will seek revenge on sometime during the day.

The night began like any other normal Tuesday night. A group of us went to No Frills Grill for trivia and dinner. This particular night was a special night. Unbeknown to us, The Miller Lite Girls were there trading whatever beer product a customer had for a fresh Miller Product.

This night must have been these two girls first night on the job or they just didn't really care about how they unloaded their product on the mostly male dominated bar, because they just let me take a couple of the beers just for the hell of it. I am proud to say that for a short while, Paul and I drank for free and it was glorious.

Then Matt came in to the scene. He quickly used his dry wit to try and gain access to the free beer and was quickly rejected. We sat and played trivia for a little bit and then headed to do our weekly podcast.

I know that this story sounds stupid right now, but trust me, it does get better.

Paul, Matt, and I had everything ready to do the podcast. We had the mics ready to go, an array of subjects to talk about, and a lot of rum to get us through whatever trials and tribulations we to get through. Now this is where stuff starts to become very hazy for me. Actually, let me clarify, this is the first time of the night where stuff get hazy for me.

After talking for about an hour and a half about random non-sense, we decided that it would a great idea to go to Duke's Roadhouse for Tuesday Night Drinking Extravaganza. When we got there, we automatically got a few bottles of beer from the host and looked for my friend Cristina. We found her and also found a ton of jager shots that needed to be consumed in a hurry. And when we thought we finished those shots, Cristina came back with some more shots. The three of us did not want to be rude, so we accepted the shots.

Paul, Matt, and I became bored of Dukes and devised a plan that consisted of me jumping over a gate with my pockets filled with full beer bottles that Paul had "found" near the bar while Matt was getting the car to pick me up in the alley for a clean getaway.

After several attempts of jumping the gate, I met my associtates in the alley and we where off to see the house Paul and Katie had just purchase as their first home together. Now, from what I understood, there was going to be no one living in the house at this time. I was wrong.

Apparently it is poor taste to check the house that you are about to purcahse at 2 am with two very drunk friends. It also maybe bad that we were yelling alot of the time while I attempted to climb a tree.

Now, I have no clue what happened next. All I know is that we went to another bar, I gained a watch, a bunch of 1 dollar bills, and I had enough Jack in the Box food to last me for about a solid week.

Corey Feldman and Danny Trejo

Today was an awesome day because I got to meet one of the coolest 80's icons of all time. That is right ladies and gentlemen, it was Corey Feldman.

He has to be one of the coolest guys of all time. If Corey Feldman got into a bare knuckle fight with Corey "I have no career" Haim and that Corky guy from "Life Goes On", Feldman would totally win. After the brutal beating, Feldman would then drive Corky to hospital and pay for the medical bills because Feldman is that bad ass. Haim would probably die, but everyone thinks that anyway.

I met the Feldman's at a convention in Arlington where they had a Friday the 13Th part whatever reunion. I went with my friends Jon, the guy who snuck into the picture and is to the left of Feldman, and Alyssa. They were actually very approachable and seem liked nice down to earth people. I really gave them tons of respect because the two went out of their way to hang out kids that wanted to meet them and signed whatever the kids wanted to be signed.

I also got a chance to met Danny Trejo. He is an actor and has been in tons of films. He was in "Desperado", "Grindhouse", "Sin City", and "Heat". He is actually not that tall, but he is still intimidating as hell, but overall a pretty nice guy. Danny talked to fans for awhile about some of his movies and stuff that he is about to do. He also talked to about his time that he did in San Quentin. While serving time in San Quentin, he became the California state prison champion in both the lightweight and welterweight divisions. During this time, Trejo became a member of a 12 step program, which he credits with his success in overcoming drug addiction. This defiantly makes him a bad ass.

He is now on the soap opera "The Young and the Restless", where he plays a Mexican bartender. Some of the people who heard this thought he was making a joke and started to laugh. He then gave a glare similar to the one in the picture to the right and everyone stopped laughing.

I also met an American Gladiator named "Phoenix". She was nice until she refused to arm wrestle me because she knew I would totally dominate her and possibly hurt her career. I jokingly said to her and she gave me a "light" punch and made me take a picture with her showing off her muscles and me showing off my lack of muscles.

Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia

From what I hear, there are a bunch of good tv shows on the air right now, but I dont watch too much of them. Right now, I believe that one of the best shows out there right now is "Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia". There is no way to correctly describe this show besides saying that it is purely badass.

Basically the show is about 5 people who own a crappy bar in Philly. Each character can be described as very dishonest and antagonistic. At varying times members have lied for the sake of personal gain. In most episodes these character flaws result in unhappy endings for the main characters as well as the innocent bystanders caught in their path. Conflicts that arise from their mutually competitive natures are the basis for many plots. This has ranged from the guys competing over women, Dee trying to prove she is as strong or competent as the others, the gang competing over who can steal more things, finding a dumpster baby, kidnapping a reporter who gave them a bad review in the paper, or even who in the gang can amass the most religious followers. In almost every episode, the entire gang, or most of the gang, gets into an arguing match in which they try to shout over each other. Notable instances include the fight in Paddy's bathroom between Charlie and Dennis and the entire gang arguing over who might have been responsible for their potential deaths in "Charlie Gets Crippled". The gang can also often be seen squabbling and generally acting rude and unprofessionally when seated in front of someone's desk in a professional environment, such as a lawyer ("Dennis and Dee's Mom is Dead") or a businessman ("The Gang Sells Out").

The gang tends to flee confrontations constantly throughout the show. In the episode "Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare", Mac and Charlie are unable to pay off their hired prostitutes, and are forced to "handle this situation the way we handle every situation"—by running away.

If you have not check out the show then I highly recommend that you do. You can check out some of the previous episodes here.

Cody and Laura got Married

Over this past weekend, my friends Cody and Laura got married. I have been to many weddings and I thought this was one of the best weddings that I have ever been to. Defiantly in the top 5 list.

It was a nice, short, outdoor ceremony that took place at Becker's Vineyards. A few of my friends were in the wedding, one of them was Brian who officiated the ceremony. It seemed to be very casual wedding with a limited number of people there.

After the ceremony, the party began. Everyone just cut loose and had an awesome time drinking wine that was supplied for everyone and also the secret stash of booze that quickly became publicly known not only just to the wedding guest, but also to some of the wildlife out there.

After the official reception was over, the after party went into effect. Since everyone was staying at the La Quinta, a group of 20 to 30 took over the "meeting room" of the hotel. This is where the trouble began. Cases upon cases of beer were distributed to everyone along with wine and many types of liquor. For some reason and collectively as a group, we decided that doors are pure retarded and window should be the only way to enter or exit the meeting room. Hotel management thought differently.

Apparently the hotel staff at La Quinta have rules that do not want to broken, even if it is in the middle of the night and you are a part of a large, loud, drunk, and just downright awesome group. Some of those rules are: Do not use the windows to enter/exit rooms, do not use the pool after hours, Katie is not allowed to be racist, do not run in the halls laughing because some got stuck in the window trying to enter/exit a room, do not hang out in the main lobby in tighty-whitey's and ask about the breakfast buffet, clothes are mandatory, and the cleaning lady's cart is not a toy.

The next day, everyone got out of their drunken state to go to the brunch where there was plenty of champagne and food for everyone. The food was gone quickly and there was no telling how many bottles of champagne we went through in that short amount of time.

Overall, it was a great time and I hope Cody and Laura the best in the marriage. Congrats guys!!!

Butch Girls Doing Curls and the Mavs

I was attempting to workout the other day at the gym when I saw a bunch of guys trying to motivate each other so they could "pump more iron". The group then moved near the treadmills where I was at, and that was when I discovered the harsh and scary truth. This was not a group made up out of men. No my friends, this was the largest and group of ridiculously strong butch women that I have ever seen. I honestly this type of group was a myth or a scary story you tell your kids just to scare the hell out them.

My eyes cross paths with one the "ladies" from the group and she asked how I was doing. Nervously, i said that I was doing fine and that I was watching what they were doing because I just joined the gym and I wanted to work out correctly. They welcomed me to join their group with open hairy, man-woman hands. They said I have a lot of potential to have a good workout plan and build more muscle if I stick to it, then one lady went off on some tangent and word for word said the following: "sweetie, you should only workout for yourself and make yourself feel better no matter how many times a deadbeat overweight slob might constantly put you down and then decide that maybe you should get muscled up and just settle the differences in the wal-mart parking lot after work one day". This is where I said it was nice to meet them and quickly left because that crazy butch woman scared the hell out me.

On a different subject, I went to the Dallas Mavericks game on Thursday where they played the Houston Rockets. The game sucked, we lost, and I didn't even get a free taco coupon. Horrible night.

Halloween Parties Galore

This past weekend held some pretty good events, which included two Halloween parties. One was a frat Halloween party and Paul and I quickly became to Champions of Beer Pong (but the championship only lasted for two games, because two duschbags dethroned our asses). Although there seemed to be either 50 or 60 people at the party, 3 kegs and all of the trash can punch were floated in what seemed like only an hour.

I didn't dress up for this party because prior that evening, I went to the Standford Series 10 Tennis Match at SMU. I do not know much about tennis nor do I regular watch the sport, but that was one hell of a match. I meet some of the pros and got a picture taken with them as well. I even caught a tennis ball after the MC on the court wanted to see if he could hit a ball in the cheap bleacher seats where I was at. I got the ball and within 10 minutes I dropped it and lost it for good.

The second Halloween party was on Saturday night. This was a complete opposite kind of Halloween party compared to the night before, but it was equally as good. It was at a house in Fort Worth, whose backyard was part of a golf course. There was plenty of food and alcohol that pretty much last the entire night. The hosts gave out prizes for best costume and spookiest food dish. J Mill and his wife Ginny won best costume for the stick figure costume and the "Crazy Cat Lady" won spookiest food award for bringing a used kitty litter box(which was really chocolate and chex mix, at least I hope it was).

It is now Sunday and I have to get ready to recoup from all of the booze intake that occurred over the weekend and get ready for Cody and Laura's wedding that will happen on November 1st.

Lazy Sunday Podcast

Just to let everyone know, the first episode of the weekly podcast called Lazy Sunday is up and you can hear it now. The podcast features me and my co-host Paul as we talk about stupid stuff that we think are pretty damn funny.

Taste of Arlington

This year was awesome for Taste of Arlington. For people who do not know what this event is, then you should be punched square in the jaw for what you are missing.

Basically, it is an event that gets all of the restaurants in the Arlington area and they give out free food, drinks, and coupons for more free food and drinks. Over 50 businesses were there this year to make sure everyone had too much to drink and eat.

Just like last year, Natalie and I went as an engaged couple who are looking for people to cater our "wedding". As we talked to a lady in line, she asked us when the wedding was. We told her we didn't know for sure just yet but it would most likely be in June. Now this is where stuff got weird. The lady we were talking to was obviously drunk out of her mind and she really wanted to get Natalie and I a gift for our wedding. We told her she didn't have to, but she followed us to our car as we were trying to evade this crazy lady. The crazy lady saw some lawn furniture that the hotel next was throwing out. So being in true crazy lady nature, she jumped in the worst dumpster in the world and got the furniture for us. This is when Natalie and I left and crazy drunk dumpster diving lady decided to take the furniture home for her own personal prize.

Also, Meagan, Ogle's wife, and Natalie convinced me to eat a whole jalapeno so I could win a free shirt. This was the worst idea ever for me. My mouth was on fire and Meagan told me to drink water, to which I then found out that water will make the burning sensation even worse. All Meagan did was laugh while Natalie tried to get me something with a lot of booze in it.

Overall, it was a damn good Taste of Arlington this year and I know not to trust Meagan ever again.

Wedding Season: Part 2

It is part 2 of the wedding season and it has been a good one. My friend Cody is going to marry his long-time girlfriend Laura and this will be the last wedding that I have planned for the 2008 year. This year alone I have attended 7 weddings and 5 bachelor parties. In October, I have had either a wedding, bachelor party, or wedding shower to go to. They all end up the same which means tons of free booze and some sort of 80's music in the background, which makes me beyond happy.

Cody and Laura are going to get married in Fredicksburg, Texas. That is just about an hour outside of Austin. It will be pretty cool because I have never been to a wedding at a Wine Vineyard before. Judging from Cody's style and sense of humor, the whole ceremony will be awesome.

I have already been invited to one wedding in 2009. My cousin Stephanie will take the plunge and marry Paul, or who I refer as "Paul Wall". Stephanie has kick ass taste in Wedding locations because her wedding will take place in Cancun. Hopefully it will be planned around spring break so I can go the ceremony , go the reception, take a 5 minute break to help judge a wet t-shirt contest that does not include t-shirts, and then go back to the reception. I know this wont happen, but I can still dream damn it.

Vote

The presidential election is less than a month away and if you have not registered to vote, you should do so here. I have seen a lot of systems that attempt to track see how people are going to vote in the upcoming election. So far my favorite tracking system is this one.(Be careful, this system may not be safe for work, plus it is only a joke).

I hate it when people try to force their political views upon me, so I will not do that to you. The only thing I want people to know is how important it is just to be able to vote in any election, especially a Presidential election. So go register and go vote.

Wedding Season

Well, it has been wedding season for some quite time now and it has been great. Last week, my friend Paul finally married his longtime girlfriend of 10 years. All it took was a bunch of guys taking him golfing, dinner, and the finest entertainment that a 1 dollar bill can get you.

The event took place in Plano, Texas and was one of the best weddings I have been to. The ceremony was done in 20 minutes and the reception last for about 4 hours, then the after party occurred at a local hotel. This is where stuff beings to become fuzzy to me. I do remember 3 am trip to McDonald's that obviously became a bad decision. A highlight of the evening was hearing one of Paul's relatives talking about how he lost a testicle in a knivefight to a chimpanzee. Overall, the whole evening was a success and in a few weeks, I get to repeat the festivities with Cody and Laura's Wedding in November.

Seeing if this works

yes it does