Broken Toes and Hoes

Last week, a couple of friends and I went to a bar called Gilligan's to have a couple of drinks and listen to people who are horrible at karaoke.

There were about 10 of us sitting at a large rectangular shaped table with people on all sides. We were being loud, drinking, and having a good time on a late Thursday night.

Next to our group of people was another group of people with the about the same number of people. Although, we did not know these people, a couple of the girls started to come over and talk to us.

One of the girls was named Jenny and she came over to introduce herself. The conversation went as followed:

Jenny: Hi, I am Jenny.

Me: Hi, I am Kevin, you have some red stuff all over your shirt.

Jenny: Oh, I know, my friend Samantha spilt her drink on me.

Samantha: Hi, I am Samantha.

Jenny and Samantha then sat down and shared a small chair with each other. Since the music/karaoke was extremely loud, i had a hard time hear what they were saying. So naturally, I moved my chair up to them in order to hear better. This was going to prove to be a bad move on my behalf.

I moved my chair closer to them by lifting the front legs of the chair and dragging the back legs of the chair. I then sat down as I was putting the two front legs of the chair back on the ground.

That is when I heard a very loud, painful scream.

Apparently, when I put the left front chair leg down, I placed the leg on her big left toe and broke the hell out of it. The toe nail was ripped completely off and the knuckle of her toe looked like Corky's face from the 80s show "Life Goes On".

Her friend Samantha immediately jumped out of her lap and sat next to me and paid absolutely no attention at all to Jenny's now disfigured toe. To be honest, I thought Jenny was joking around until I actually saw the toe. There is nothing like the sight of a drunk girl holding up her foot with her captain toe nail missing and blood dripping on the floor.

The bleeding was not that bad, it was as if someone accidentally poked themselves with a needle a shit load of times.

Since Jenny was pretty drunk at this point, she really didn't pay much attention to her toe after a minute had passed. She, as best as she could, stood up and got another drink from the bar and went back to her friends. the gross thing about all this was the fact that she refused to put her sandal back on.

So for the rest of the night, she was walking around the horrible gem infested floor that Gilligan's is proud to offer with her left foot barefoot. If you couldn't find Jenny, all you had to do to locate her is find the little bloody toe print that was all over the place and you would eventually find her.