A Very Muppet Thanksgiving

Its that time of year again when we sit around a table, over eat on many different types of delicious food, and then hang out with the Muppets.

As usual, my family and I went to The Keg for Thanksgiving Dinner right after watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade and the low brow Turkey Day Tirade with Jerry Springer. Nothing too exciting happened at dinner like an 80 year old woman inviting over to her house for a night cap of ensure.

After dinner was the fun part though because it was time to play to music, it was time to light the lights and it was time to watch the new Muppets movie with Stephanie.

The movie was hilarious and I am pretty sure that we were the only ones laughing at almost every part of the movie. The movie reminded me of being a kid and watching all of the Muppets while wearing my horrendous Alvin and the Chipmunks pajamas.

Now I would like to play a game with you. You are going to read to story below and try to figure out if this is a true story or not. Whoever gives me the correct answer first will win something pretty damn awesome. Here we go.....


This is more embarrassing for my mother than for me because I wasn't quite four years old when it happened. My mother taught me to read when I was 3 years old (her first mistake). One day I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping napkins in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts she told me that those were for special occasions. Now fast forward a few months. It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table. You guessed it! When they returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tails in so they didn't hang off the edge. My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter. "But Mom, you SAID they were for special occasions!!