Kids Puking In Pumpkins (A Timeless Tradition)

The most precious time of year has come and gone for many of us. I am not talking about The 4th Of July, Memorial Day, or even National Hot Dog Day.

I am talking about that timeless tradition of when kids go out to random people's houses to collect candy and then inevitably, puke in a pumpkin.

Celebrating Halloween by vomiting in a pumpkin that you carved the night before with your parents for quality family time will always bring a tear to any mother's eye.

I remember the first time I got sick on Halloween due to too much candy. My parents took me all over the neighborhood to insure that all of our neighbors and the creepy old people at the retirement home saw, what my parents described as "the cutest costume any kid wore in the history of Halloween....EVER"!

After countless hours of being pimped out for candy, my parents took me to investigate the candy to make sure that nobody messed with my candy, especially that creepy Anthony Giles that lived on the corner that always had tons of Halloween decorations and even a haunted house in his garage. He never had enough candy outside, but he was pretty damn sure he had some hidden somewhere in his house that he always needed help to find when your parents weren't looking.

Anyway, after my parents went through all the candy, they would allow me to have a couple of pieces and put them away so I wouldn't eat too much. For some reason, my mom would give me a couple of more pieces of candy as long as I kept it a secret. A few minutes later, my dad would take me to where they would actually hide my plastic pumpkin full of sugar and candy and let me take a couple of more pieces. This is when everything went terribly wrong.

Since my parents both secretly gave me more candy and I knew the location of the well hidden treasure of candy, I started to consume every piece of artificial sugar insight. Then all of a sudden, the plastic candy held more than just candy. I vomed. EVERYWHERE!

You would think that, not only I, but my parents would have learned from the fateful night in Kansas City. But no. No one learned a thing. This tradition continued for some quite time until I stopped eating candy at Halloween and started on consume adult beverages with the same end results. I guess I am still trying to keep a piece of my childhood alive in some ways.