Its the Saturday after Thanksgiving which means its Friends Thanksgiving Day.
In this timeless tradition, we always start the day with a game of Blue Ball. Blue Ball is a game that we made up and has nothing to do with having a bad case of the Blue Balls.
It is kind of hard to describe the game because the rules are ridiculously awesome and hard to remember. It is basically like rugby where you try your best to knock the person down to stop then from scoring. It usually takes a couple of hours to play and everyone is pretty winded at the end. Last year I learned that it is not wise to drink red wine and eat pumpkin cheese cake for breakfast right before I played the game. I lasted to plays and then vomed all over the place.
After the game, it was time to go to Peter and Jess' house for the feast. Peter grilled a turkey while his wife Jess prepared deviled eggs and dip. Everyone who came brought some sort of dish and whatever they wanted to drink that day. I brought an awesome cupcake dessert that resembled a turkey when they were all put together.
We played washers, talked with everyone, and had fun playing with everyone's kids. I did learn that Juliette and Elizabeth, both 3, loved to be thrown in the air at an alarming height and I am a big stinky head.
After Peter and Jess' party was over, it was time to go to Stephanie's house to play some games and go to Vino's. I hope you read the post about Vino's because it had the exact same feeling to it and I am pretty sure that everyone was still there wearing the same clothes when I originally saw them.
Since it took forever to get service and even longer to get our drinks, a change of venue was in the works. And that venue would be the M Lounge, a karaoke loving place that has steep stairs that will make any fall down to the ground while onlookers laughed.
Several drinks and tons of horrible songs later, it was time to call it a night and try to prepare our livers.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Black Friday
I am proud to say that I have never once participated in any Black Friday event ever in my life. But that all came to a screeching halt once Stephanie introduced me to this epic day of savings.
The first store we went to was Jo Anne's, a hobby and craft store. The line here was insanely long because if you everything was 60% off and if you made your purchase before noon, you would get an additional 25% off your total purchase. You could tell that everyone want to make their purchase before noon and was more than happy to state their feelings in a very public way.
We left the store with Christmas wrapping paper, ribbons, boxes, and tape. We saved a bunch of money too.
The next stop of the Madness Savings Day was Toys R Us. I would like to say that I acted like a gentleman and adult the whole time I was there. Again, I would like to say that. If you put me anywhere near toys, there is a 99% chance that I am going to play with it. Stephanie had to stop me on more than one occasion to tell me to stop playing with the toys. Apparently it is against store policy to take a toy out of its package, play with it, and try to put it back neatly in its original condition. We left this store with a couple of board games that I cant wait to play with.
The next couple of stores we went to were mainly for Stephanie. The expedition consisted of going to get make up (again for Stephanie), shoes, and tools. And then, we went to the mall.
I didn't think the crowds were going to be that bad because we started at 11 am and the majority of the crazy Black Friday Shoppers were already home telling stories of their great deals and near fights they got into over a Tickle Me Elmo toy. I was completely wrong.
Finding a place to park was a chore in itself. I saw a accident occur, tons of cars going after the same spot, and people driving around aimlessly to figure out how to leave the parking lot. Once inside, I could tell that it was a madhouse just a few hours earlier. Clothes were all over the place, coupons and ads were thrown everywhere like confetti, and I was scared.
To be honest, we weren't their that long at all, maybe 45 minutes. Stephanie did shop like a champ though. She found some good deals for some Christmas gifts.
After all of the shopping, it was time for lunch at Pappadeaux's. We got some lobster bisque and alligator tail with some drinks. Now, I am not one for themed drinks. I usually get a beer, liquor, and whatever mixed drink goes with the type of restaurant I am at (like Margaritas at a Mexican restaurant).
The people at Pappadeaux's were offering new fruit drinks. Stephanie had a fruit margarita while I had something along the lines of a very berry rum punch drink. And damn it, it was delicious as hell. We had a couple rounds each with our meal and decided that was enough day drinking since I was taking my awesome almost 2 year old nephew Caleb to the parade and Stephanie was going to visit her friend Karen who came in from Arizona for Thanksgiving.
I am glad Stephanie showed me the ropes of Black Friday and I survived the experience and tell you about it in this mediocre post.
The first store we went to was Jo Anne's, a hobby and craft store. The line here was insanely long because if you everything was 60% off and if you made your purchase before noon, you would get an additional 25% off your total purchase. You could tell that everyone want to make their purchase before noon and was more than happy to state their feelings in a very public way.
We left the store with Christmas wrapping paper, ribbons, boxes, and tape. We saved a bunch of money too.
The next stop of the Madness Savings Day was Toys R Us. I would like to say that I acted like a gentleman and adult the whole time I was there. Again, I would like to say that. If you put me anywhere near toys, there is a 99% chance that I am going to play with it. Stephanie had to stop me on more than one occasion to tell me to stop playing with the toys. Apparently it is against store policy to take a toy out of its package, play with it, and try to put it back neatly in its original condition. We left this store with a couple of board games that I cant wait to play with.
The next couple of stores we went to were mainly for Stephanie. The expedition consisted of going to get make up (again for Stephanie), shoes, and tools. And then, we went to the mall.
I didn't think the crowds were going to be that bad because we started at 11 am and the majority of the crazy Black Friday Shoppers were already home telling stories of their great deals and near fights they got into over a Tickle Me Elmo toy. I was completely wrong.
Finding a place to park was a chore in itself. I saw a accident occur, tons of cars going after the same spot, and people driving around aimlessly to figure out how to leave the parking lot. Once inside, I could tell that it was a madhouse just a few hours earlier. Clothes were all over the place, coupons and ads were thrown everywhere like confetti, and I was scared.
To be honest, we weren't their that long at all, maybe 45 minutes. Stephanie did shop like a champ though. She found some good deals for some Christmas gifts.
After all of the shopping, it was time for lunch at Pappadeaux's. We got some lobster bisque and alligator tail with some drinks. Now, I am not one for themed drinks. I usually get a beer, liquor, and whatever mixed drink goes with the type of restaurant I am at (like Margaritas at a Mexican restaurant).
The people at Pappadeaux's were offering new fruit drinks. Stephanie had a fruit margarita while I had something along the lines of a very berry rum punch drink. And damn it, it was delicious as hell. We had a couple rounds each with our meal and decided that was enough day drinking since I was taking my awesome almost 2 year old nephew Caleb to the parade and Stephanie was going to visit her friend Karen who came in from Arizona for Thanksgiving.
I am glad Stephanie showed me the ropes of Black Friday and I survived the experience and tell you about it in this mediocre post.
A Very Muppet Thanksgiving
Its that time of year again when we sit around a table, over eat on many different types of delicious food, and then hang out with the Muppets.
As usual, my family and I went to The Keg for Thanksgiving Dinner right after watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade and the low brow Turkey Day Tirade with Jerry Springer. Nothing too exciting happened at dinner like an 80 year old woman inviting over to her house for a night cap of ensure.
After dinner was the fun part though because it was time to play to music, it was time to light the lights and it was time to watch the new Muppets movie with Stephanie.
The movie was hilarious and I am pretty sure that we were the only ones laughing at almost every part of the movie. The movie reminded me of being a kid and watching all of the Muppets while wearing my horrendous Alvin and the Chipmunks pajamas.
Now I would like to play a game with you. You are going to read to story below and try to figure out if this is a true story or not. Whoever gives me the correct answer first will win something pretty damn awesome. Here we go.....
This is more embarrassing for my mother than for me because I wasn't quite four years old when it happened. My mother taught me to read when I was 3 years old (her first mistake). One day I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping napkins in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts she told me that those were for special occasions. Now fast forward a few months. It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table. You guessed it! When they returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tails in so they didn't hang off the edge. My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter. "But Mom, you SAID they were for special occasions!!
As usual, my family and I went to The Keg for Thanksgiving Dinner right after watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade and the low brow Turkey Day Tirade with Jerry Springer. Nothing too exciting happened at dinner like an 80 year old woman inviting over to her house for a night cap of ensure.
After dinner was the fun part though because it was time to play to music, it was time to light the lights and it was time to watch the new Muppets movie with Stephanie.
The movie was hilarious and I am pretty sure that we were the only ones laughing at almost every part of the movie. The movie reminded me of being a kid and watching all of the Muppets while wearing my horrendous Alvin and the Chipmunks pajamas.
Now I would like to play a game with you. You are going to read to story below and try to figure out if this is a true story or not. Whoever gives me the correct answer first will win something pretty damn awesome. Here we go.....
This is more embarrassing for my mother than for me because I wasn't quite four years old when it happened. My mother taught me to read when I was 3 years old (her first mistake). One day I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping napkins in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts she told me that those were for special occasions. Now fast forward a few months. It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table. You guessed it! When they returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tails in so they didn't hang off the edge. My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter. "But Mom, you SAID they were for special occasions!!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Not Fancy Enough For McDonald's But Too Fancy For Vino's.....An Adventure Into Obesity (vol. 3)
After all of the heart clogging dipping sauces, life-changing McRibs, watching kids run into doors, it was time to go to Vino's.
I have never been to Vino's before, but I did hear one of the best descriptions of this particular establishment: "If you have ever felt depressed, ugly, fat, gross, and your life has gone nowhere, then go to Vino's and you will feel great in now time". When I heard this statement, I thought it was just an exaggeration and couldn't be that bad. I was wrong.
When the Condiment Kid and I first saw Vino's, we were excited because we thought it would be some sort of wine bar just based off of the name of the restaurant. We knew we were wrong because the was a sign advertising that Wednesday was "All You Can Eat Spaghetti Day" for only $5 a person, obviously that is too good of a deal to pass up on.
As we walked in, The Condiment Kid and I knew this was not a wine bar at all by being greeted with a full view of slot machines, pool tables, and a drunk guy tucked into the corner by himself. She started to laugh because Vino's quickly resembled a place where people would go if they really wanted to get some sort of hepatitis.
It was also clear that The Condiment Kid and I were completely overdressed for this establishment. Apparently, wearing a tie to this place will get you strange looks and slow service on drinks. In order to resemble a regular, I should have worn either my best John Deer t-shirt or whatever fast food uniform I had at the time.
Another aspect of the bar that made it even more memorable was that fact that every night was karaoke night (with the exception of Saturday because that is Country Line Dancing Night with Rawstin). And since Vino's knows that everyone loves to sing covers of people songs in a horrible rendition, that karaoke portion is open to all ages. Its is great to see a 12 year old leave her mom at the bar top area and sing as many Taylor Swift songs that she knew.
Since The Condiment Kid and I originally came there for the wine, she asked the waitress what type of wine was available and the waitress quickly responded by saying "White and Red". She said that she preferred White Wine and the waitress, also know as Mom, poured us a glass each and didn't see her until some time later when she brought out the "good" wine, and yes, the "good" wine was in fact the infamous boxed wine.
Also, Vino's is great for people watching. I think that it is great that I finally know where all of the people form the People Of Walmart website go to drink. I saw a guy in a Chicken Express sweatshirt drinking a ton of Smirnoff Ice curled up in a ball on chair by himself, a drunk guy dancing to when there wasn't any music playing and sitting while there was, a couple of truckers talking about road life, and an 80 year old grandma trying to win it big at the slot machines.
After a couple of hours and several glasses of wine later, it was time to call it a night. We didn't realize how smokey it was inside of the bar until we got into our car. I smelled like a 1990s Robert Downey Jr while she smelled like a 1990s Christian Slater.
It was a great night trying different types of food while clogging the hell our of my arteries and breathing in a weeks worth of smoke in the span of a few hours at a dive bar that is open to all ages. I cant wait to do it again next week.
I have never been to Vino's before, but I did hear one of the best descriptions of this particular establishment: "If you have ever felt depressed, ugly, fat, gross, and your life has gone nowhere, then go to Vino's and you will feel great in now time". When I heard this statement, I thought it was just an exaggeration and couldn't be that bad. I was wrong.
When the Condiment Kid and I first saw Vino's, we were excited because we thought it would be some sort of wine bar just based off of the name of the restaurant. We knew we were wrong because the was a sign advertising that Wednesday was "All You Can Eat Spaghetti Day" for only $5 a person, obviously that is too good of a deal to pass up on.
As we walked in, The Condiment Kid and I knew this was not a wine bar at all by being greeted with a full view of slot machines, pool tables, and a drunk guy tucked into the corner by himself. She started to laugh because Vino's quickly resembled a place where people would go if they really wanted to get some sort of hepatitis.
It was also clear that The Condiment Kid and I were completely overdressed for this establishment. Apparently, wearing a tie to this place will get you strange looks and slow service on drinks. In order to resemble a regular, I should have worn either my best John Deer t-shirt or whatever fast food uniform I had at the time.
Another aspect of the bar that made it even more memorable was that fact that every night was karaoke night (with the exception of Saturday because that is Country Line Dancing Night with Rawstin). And since Vino's knows that everyone loves to sing covers of people songs in a horrible rendition, that karaoke portion is open to all ages. Its is great to see a 12 year old leave her mom at the bar top area and sing as many Taylor Swift songs that she knew.
Since The Condiment Kid and I originally came there for the wine, she asked the waitress what type of wine was available and the waitress quickly responded by saying "White and Red". She said that she preferred White Wine and the waitress, also know as Mom, poured us a glass each and didn't see her until some time later when she brought out the "good" wine, and yes, the "good" wine was in fact the infamous boxed wine.
Also, Vino's is great for people watching. I think that it is great that I finally know where all of the people form the People Of Walmart website go to drink. I saw a guy in a Chicken Express sweatshirt drinking a ton of Smirnoff Ice curled up in a ball on chair by himself, a drunk guy dancing to when there wasn't any music playing and sitting while there was, a couple of truckers talking about road life, and an 80 year old grandma trying to win it big at the slot machines.
After a couple of hours and several glasses of wine later, it was time to call it a night. We didn't realize how smokey it was inside of the bar until we got into our car. I smelled like a 1990s Robert Downey Jr while she smelled like a 1990s Christian Slater.
It was a great night trying different types of food while clogging the hell our of my arteries and breathing in a weeks worth of smoke in the span of a few hours at a dive bar that is open to all ages. I cant wait to do it again next week.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Not Fancy Enough For McDonald's But Too Fancy For Vino's.....An Adventure Into Obesity (vol. 2)
After The Condiment Kid and I left what has to be the fanciest McDonald's ever with a different view of how awesome the McRib is, our next desitnation was Chick-Fila and try something called Honeynesiannaise sauce.
Honeynesiannaise is a rare dipping sauce that only the finest culinary chefs in the world know how to make properly. To give you an idea of how difficult this process is, the only dish that comes close to this level of mastery is preparing the elusive blow fish in a safe, yet artful manner.
As we walking in to the busy Chick-Fila with only half of a McRib in our stomach, a hush came over the crowd as they saw us order. The only reason for such a busy, loud place to become quiet so quickly was because the infamous Condiment Kid was about the unleash the Honeynesiannaise dipping sauce, something that hasn't been produced since The Great Fire Fiasco of 2009, which she still swears was started by a rat falling in to a bucket of kerosene, crawled out and ran into a fire pit, thus setting off a trail of fire that destroyed several businesses and homes.
Anyway, back to the story. The Condiment Kid and I decided to share some nuggets and fries with a helpful amount of Honeynesiannaise. I know what you are thinking, "What the hell is Honeynesiannaise anyway?". Well it is a combination of 3 of the finest ingredients in the world. And those ingredients are honey, Polynesian sauce, and mayonnaise. Yes, I know this particular type of combination sounds gross, but looks can be deceiving. Trust me, I know this since I used to be a McRib Hater.
As The Condiment Kid and I sit down to eat the our second meal of the night, she started to prepare this heinous looking sauce. In order to make the sauce correctly, all you have to do is get 2 containers of Polynesian sauce, a crap ton of honey, and even more mayonnaise. And then you mix them all together.
I will tell you this, when I first saw this concoction being made, I thought it was going to taste like hell and and clog up my arteries and enhance my chances of getting any type of heart disease. But you know what, that was one of the best dipping sauces that I have ever had that will eventually clog up my arteries and enhance my chances of getting any type of heart disease. I need to learn to stop second guessing The Condiment Kid's food choices and just try whatever she makes.
After we were done with our meal and watched a kid run into the playground door headfirst(I laughed, neither did the kid or The Condiment Kid), it was time to leave to our next destination, Vino's.
Not Fancy Enough For McDonald's But Too Fancy For Vino's.....An Adventure Into Obesity (vol. 3) coming soon.
Honeynesiannaise is a rare dipping sauce that only the finest culinary chefs in the world know how to make properly. To give you an idea of how difficult this process is, the only dish that comes close to this level of mastery is preparing the elusive blow fish in a safe, yet artful manner.
As we walking in to the busy Chick-Fila with only half of a McRib in our stomach, a hush came over the crowd as they saw us order. The only reason for such a busy, loud place to become quiet so quickly was because the infamous Condiment Kid was about the unleash the Honeynesiannaise dipping sauce, something that hasn't been produced since The Great Fire Fiasco of 2009, which she still swears was started by a rat falling in to a bucket of kerosene, crawled out and ran into a fire pit, thus setting off a trail of fire that destroyed several businesses and homes.
Anyway, back to the story. The Condiment Kid and I decided to share some nuggets and fries with a helpful amount of Honeynesiannaise. I know what you are thinking, "What the hell is Honeynesiannaise anyway?". Well it is a combination of 3 of the finest ingredients in the world. And those ingredients are honey, Polynesian sauce, and mayonnaise. Yes, I know this particular type of combination sounds gross, but looks can be deceiving. Trust me, I know this since I used to be a McRib Hater.
As The Condiment Kid and I sit down to eat the our second meal of the night, she started to prepare this heinous looking sauce. In order to make the sauce correctly, all you have to do is get 2 containers of Polynesian sauce, a crap ton of honey, and even more mayonnaise. And then you mix them all together.
I will tell you this, when I first saw this concoction being made, I thought it was going to taste like hell and and clog up my arteries and enhance my chances of getting any type of heart disease. But you know what, that was one of the best dipping sauces that I have ever had that will eventually clog up my arteries and enhance my chances of getting any type of heart disease. I need to learn to stop second guessing The Condiment Kid's food choices and just try whatever she makes.
After we were done with our meal and watched a kid run into the playground door headfirst(I laughed, neither did the kid or The Condiment Kid), it was time to leave to our next destination, Vino's.
Not Fancy Enough For McDonald's But Too Fancy For Vino's.....An Adventure Into Obesity (vol. 3) coming soon.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Not Fancy Enough For McDonald's But Too Fancy For Vino's.....An Adventure Into Obesity (vol. 1)
Was your dream to have some sort of heart problems by the age of 30? Do you like honey, mayonnaise, and Polynesian sauce combined into one heart clogging dip? Then this post is for you.
This past Wednesday, I was forced to try a certain food that I have was proud to have never eaten in my 28 years of existence. That particular food was the McRib at the nicest McDonald's that I have ever been to in my life.
Before I start the journey into the infinite abyss of heart damaging foods with my food expert, The Condiment Kid aka MCF, let me describe the McDonald's Restaurant to you. The fast food dining room did not resemble anything like a fast food restaurant at all. The place resembled more of a dining area you would find in a corporate office building or a wireless cafe. The customers in the McDonald's were dressed more sophisticated as well.
Since I was coming straight from work, I thought it would be a good idea to just put a jacket over my dress shirt and tie and change into jeans and some good ole fashion boat shoes. I should have stayed in my work clothes.
The customers looked like they were about to go to an extremely important meeting or job interview. Every time I see a McDonald's commercial and everyone is dressed all fancy like, I always think to myself "Who dresses like that for a fast food restaurant". A couple people were even having a business meeting there and showing off the blueprints and PowerPoint presentations.
Anyway, as The Condiment Kid and I approached the counter and ordered 1 McRib for the both us, I knew I was floating in uncharted territories. I was scared.
As I took the first bit into the god awful looking excuse for a BBQ sandwich, a tear slowly came from my eye. Not out of disgust, but because it tasted delicious. I started to regret making fun of all the McRib Followers who would travel from town to town in order to taste that limited time sandwich. Actually, I will still make fun of those people because they have no life, but I will admit it was one damn tasty sandwich.
Everything about the McRib was awesome. The fake beef made to look like a slab of ribs with BBQ sauce, pickles, and onions going all over the place made it seem like a party in my mouth and everyone was invited. It is a shame it only occurs once a year.
After the McDonald's McRib conversion, it was time to go to Chick-Fila and enjoy some Honeynesiannaise.
This past Wednesday, I was forced to try a certain food that I have was proud to have never eaten in my 28 years of existence. That particular food was the McRib at the nicest McDonald's that I have ever been to in my life.
Before I start the journey into the infinite abyss of heart damaging foods with my food expert, The Condiment Kid aka MCF, let me describe the McDonald's Restaurant to you. The fast food dining room did not resemble anything like a fast food restaurant at all. The place resembled more of a dining area you would find in a corporate office building or a wireless cafe. The customers in the McDonald's were dressed more sophisticated as well.
Since I was coming straight from work, I thought it would be a good idea to just put a jacket over my dress shirt and tie and change into jeans and some good ole fashion boat shoes. I should have stayed in my work clothes.
The customers looked like they were about to go to an extremely important meeting or job interview. Every time I see a McDonald's commercial and everyone is dressed all fancy like, I always think to myself "Who dresses like that for a fast food restaurant". A couple people were even having a business meeting there and showing off the blueprints and PowerPoint presentations.
Anyway, as The Condiment Kid and I approached the counter and ordered 1 McRib for the both us, I knew I was floating in uncharted territories. I was scared.
As I took the first bit into the god awful looking excuse for a BBQ sandwich, a tear slowly came from my eye. Not out of disgust, but because it tasted delicious. I started to regret making fun of all the McRib Followers who would travel from town to town in order to taste that limited time sandwich. Actually, I will still make fun of those people because they have no life, but I will admit it was one damn tasty sandwich.
Everything about the McRib was awesome. The fake beef made to look like a slab of ribs with BBQ sauce, pickles, and onions going all over the place made it seem like a party in my mouth and everyone was invited. It is a shame it only occurs once a year.
After the McDonald's McRib conversion, it was time to go to Chick-Fila and enjoy some Honeynesiannaise.
James L. Bearden (1951 - 2011)
James L. Bearden, 60, passed away Wednesday, Nov. 9, 2011, in Fort Worth. Service: Mass of Christian Burial, 10:30 a.m. Monday at St. Vincent de Paul Catholic Church, 5819 W Pleasant Ridge Rd., Arlington. Interment: Emerald Hills Memorial Park, Kennedale. Visitation: The family will receive friends 6 to 8 p.m. Sunday, with a prayer vigil at 7 p.m., at Wade Family Funeral Home Chapel, 4140 W Pioneer Parkway., Arlington. James was born Aug. 20, 1951, in Dallas to Clarence Wesley Bearden and Wanda Fae Bedwell Bearden. After a long career in private investigation and security, he earned a law degree and opened up a practice in Arlington. James graduated from the University of Texas at Arlington with a political science degree and Texas Wesleyan School of Law in December 2001. A resident of Arlington since 1972, he was active in St. Vincent de Paul Catholic Church. James was a member of the Men's Club, Texas Association of Licensed Investigators Legal Council, a former intelligence officer, a former president of Fielder Museum, a former board member of the UTA Alumni Board, member of Tarrant County Bar Association, a founding member of Bearahue Bobbing Team, and an assistant scout master for many years. He was preceded in death by his parents and beloved wife of 37 years, Shana Lesa Bearden, in 2009. Survivors: Sons, Wes Bearden and wife, Antoinette, Brad Bearden and fiancee, Tiffani Brooks; daughters, April Flowers and husband, T.J., Chrissy Bailey and husband, Doug; brother, Dan Bearden and wife, Amy; sisters, Wanda Burton and Bonnie Sims; grandchildren, Lily Flowers, Bella Bearden and Maddie Flowers.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
American Horror Story
Do you like your tv shows to be grotesque, terrifying, brutal and kinky? If you said yes, then you are going to love American Horror Story.The show is based around the Harmon family. Mother Vivien (Connie Britton) is working through a traumatic miscarriage she had to deliver to term, while father Ben (Dylan McDermott) is trying to put his family back together after Vivien caught him sleeping with a student. He moves them plus their teenage daughter Violet (Taissa Farmiga) across the country from Boston to an old Victorian mansion in Los Angeles.
Why is their new mansion so cheap? Because it was the site of a grisly murder-suicide and is supremely haunted.
Not only is it haunted by ghosts, but weird neighbor Constance (Jessica Lange) keeps dropping by unannounced with her daughter Adelaide (Jamie Brewer). Constance moved to Los Angeles to be an actress long ago, but got pregnant and got stuck raising her "mongoloid" daughter with Down Syndrome instead.
Add to that a maid who appears as older Frances Conroy to everyone but Ben -- he sees the maid as young, sexy Alexandra Breckenridge, complete with French maid outfit and thigh-high stockings - and a creepy burned man (Denis O'Hare) who follows Ben around.
Finally, Ben's first patient in L.A. is troubled teen Tate (Evan Peters), who has fantasies about shooting up his school. And strikes up a friendship with Violet. You discover all of this in the first episode.
For the first season, there are only going to be 8 episodes and thankfully it has already been renewed for a second season. The reason I am so excited about this is because so many characters are being introduced and they are all weird as hell.
One example of the new characters introduced is the character known as The Rubber Man. The reason he is know as The Rubber Man is because he will only wear and Nothing is known about this character expect that he likes to get it on with some of the characters on the show while pretending to be their counterpart. Other than being extremely horny, he likes to kill people as well. Rubber Man will also appear just as quickly as he disappears in situations all of the time and he never speaks.Some of the other characters that appear in the show are the former owners of the so called Murder Mansion, which includes former owners of the home, The Montgomery's, an unmarried gay couple, half burnt man who set fire and killed his entire family, and a weird man-baby who lives in the basement.
Apparently, the man-baby is the son of The Montgomery's. The husband was a doctor who performed illegal abortions in his basement while getting high. His wife served as a recruiter to get the girls to convince them to have the abortion. One day, The Montgomery's lost their baby and tried to make a new son out of the fetuses that were left over from the abortions and animal parts and created a monster.
I am glad that this show is around because I really haven't gotten into many too many shows, other than my secret shame of a show called The Lying Game, since Lost ended. I will say that I never know what to expect when I watch an episode of American Horror Story, but I will know I have to talk to friends afterwards to talk about after it ends.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Kids Puking In Pumpkins (A Timeless Tradition)
The most precious time of year has come and gone for many of us. I am not talking about The 4th Of July, Memorial Day, or even National Hot Dog Day.I am talking about that timeless tradition of when kids go out to random people's houses to collect candy and then inevitably, puke in a pumpkin.
Celebrating Halloween by vomiting in a pumpkin that you carved the night before with your parents for quality family time will always bring a tear to any mother's eye.
I remember the first time I got sick on Halloween due to too much candy. My parents took me all over the neighborhood to insure that all of our neighbors and the creepy old people at the retirement home saw, what my parents described as "the cutest costume any kid wore in the history of Halloween....EVER"!
After countless hours of being pimped out for candy, my parents took me to investigate the candy to make sure that nobody messed with my candy, especially that creepy Anthony Giles that lived on the corner that always had tons of Halloween decorations and even a haunted house in his garage. He never had enough candy outside, but he was pretty damn sure he had some hidden somewhere in his house that he always needed help to find when your parents weren't looking.
Anyway, after my parents went through all the candy, they would allow me to have a couple of
pieces and put them away so I wouldn't eat too much. For some reason, my mom would give me a couple of more pieces of candy as long as I kept it a secret. A few minutes later, my dad would take me to where they would actually hide my plastic pumpkin full of sugar and candy and let me take a couple of more pieces. This is when everything went terribly wrong.Since my parents both secretly gave me more candy and I knew the location of the well hidden treasure of candy, I started to consume every piece of artificial sugar insight. Then all of a sudden, the plastic candy held more than just candy. I vomed. EVERYWHERE!
You would think that, not only I, but my parents would have learned from the fateful night in Kansas City. But no. No one learned a thing. This tradition continued for some quite time until I stopped eating candy at Halloween and started on consume adult beverages with the same end results. I guess I am still trying to keep a piece of my childhood alive in some ways.
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