Some Quick Dreams With Meanings

One of the Christmas gifts that I received this past year was a dream book. Here are some of the dreams that either I or my friends had at some point.

One dream that I recently had was in the form of a montage. It was just bits and pieces of fast action that ultimately lead to nothing spectacular at all, just me waking up. During my dream, the Montage song from Team America was playing and you can hear it here.

A dream that one of my friends had was that he wet his bed so much that the room filled with pee and he almost drowned.

A while back I had a dream that left me rushing for air when I woke up. When I fell asleep I could hear myself running. I could feel the wind rushing past my face and the ground beneath my feet as I ran full force. I knew I was in a wooded area because of the shuffling leaves and the twigs snapping beneath my feet. The worst part was that the whole time I was blind. I couldn't see anything around me but all of my other senses were heightened. The dream got really intense because I started to run faster and I could hear myself breathing harder and harder. That lasted for about two seconds when out of nowhere I just fell. I fell over a cliff or into a hole or something very large because I just kept falling until I woke up gasping for air.

I will post more dreams later on if I can remember them.

They Caught The Bastards

The police were finally able to catch the douchbags that broke into over 20 last week. I really wish Samuel L Jackson was there to have his property stolen and then have a reporter ask him if the thieves deserved to pay for thier crimes if they were caught. Of course Samuel L Jackson has only one way to respond to a question like this, "Yes they deserve to die and I hope they burn in hell".

Below is another local news report about the capture of the criminals.

DALLAS - "It looked like moving day," says Police Lt. Dan Birbeck of a car loaded with stolen goods.

31-year old Valentino Martinez, 17-year old Eduardo Moreno, and 19-year old Juan Zamorra are all charged with burglary.

Police at Parkland Hospital say, the trio started their crime spree in Hurst, Wednesday. 18 cars were broken-into at a TRE Station and a Honda CRV taken.

Thursday morning, cars at the World Trade Center in Dallas and a DART park & ride were also hit.

Thursdayafternoon, a person inside the Lofland parking garage at Parkland Hospital reported three men walking through the rows of cars acting suspiciously.

Police surrounded the garage and say they found the men sitting inside the stolen Honda CRV which was packed with items taken from the burglaries.

"Womens purses, luggage... stolen guitars, credit cards, stacks of radios," says Lt. Birbeck.

Lt. Birbeck says it was quite a find. They are working to return the stolen items to the owners, but some property is still unclaimed.

The Break In

Last week, my car was broken in to at the train station that I park at everyday. Below is a local new report of the crime. And the only damage that I had to my car was a broken window and a broken stereo. The only thing that the theives stole was my empty gym bag.

Police are looking for the thieves who broke into nearly 20 cars Thursday in broad daylight, in the parking lot of a Trinity Railway Express (TRE) station. One car is was also stolen from the parking station.

A crime of this magnitude is a first.

“We’ve never had it happen with us before,” said Tony Johnson, the executive vice president of the Fort Worth Transportation Authority. “When we’ve had car break-ins usually it’s one or two cars. This was 18 cars broken into and one stolen.”

The thieves damaged so many cars at the Hurst Bell Station, at the corner of Bell Spur Drive and Trinity Boulevard in Hurst that it ranks as one of the worst cases of North Texas vandalism.
While there are surveillance cameras at the station having them there doesn’t guarantee the crimes were captured on video.

“The problem is they have a DVD and once the memory on that DVD fills up it starts writing over itself, so there’s a good possibility that it may have taped over the activity,” explained Johnson.

The vandals ripped out dashboards and took everything from radios and GPS systems, to gifts and personal property.

There is security at the Hurst Bell Station, but it is limited.

“We couldn’t afford to put a security officer there, at all the stations, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, that would just be too cost prohibitive since we don’t charge people to park there,” Johnson said.

Until those responsible for the crime spree are caught, Johnson said security and law enforcement presence at the station will be increased.

“We have 26 police officers that work for us, out there on a regular basis and they’ll be out there monitoring and watching. We also have security officers that will be out there,” he said. “We do have police officers that are riding the trains; they don’t particularly get off and walk through the parking lots, although we are changing that until we can apprehend these guys.”

Johnson believes the crimes most likely happened in the middle of the day when the station is generally empty and trains only run every 45 minutes.

So hopefully they will find the people who broke in to all of the cars soon.

John Michael and Laura Betik Got Hitched

True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...Luckly, I did not attend a wedding with this type of true love. I attended a Betik wedding.

"What is a Betik Wedding?" you may be asking. Well, it is one of the craziest Czech wedding ceremonies and receptions that I have attended.

John Michael Betik and Laura Driggers, who have met in the 5th grade, decided it was time to
get married in the scenic Dripping Springs, Texas (which is a little outside of Austin).

The non denominational wedding ceremony only lasted about 20 minutes and had one a guy who looked just like "Whitey" from Me, Myself, and Irene as a groomsman. His name was "Mad" Mike and he could throw down the F bomb like he was a poet. Now, I just met Mad Mike and heard him curse at least 10 times in a 3 minute time period while waiting for the guarder toss. He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master.

The weather was perfect for an outdoor wedding in January. It was sunny and cool during the actually ceremony and stayed like that for the majority of the night, especially during the cocktail hour that immediately followed the nuptials.

The venue for this party was non other than the Vista Ridge Resort. It had a rustic feel to everything, which gave it that special John Micheal and Laura touch to it. A cool thing about it was that there weren't any fancy glasses to drink out of, just mason jars. And that was just one of many cool things at the wedding.

Many other things at the wedding was a photo booth, names cards with musicians on them in order to find your table, and the wedding march.

Now, the wedding march is one hell of a crazy thing to describe, so I will do the best that I can. Basically, the men and women stand side by side (the ladies are on the left, guys on the right). The walk, dance, or run down the aisle with each other and then split up at the end of the hall. We then meet up with our dates at the other end of the hall and hold hands high to form a tunnel. The entire group then goes through the tunnel and continues to form a non stop tunnel until the bride and groom go to the middle of the dance floor to be surrounded by everyone for their dance.

One thing that always throws me off about this dance, is what happens to the people who are forming the endless wall. I don't know who started this tradition, but when a guy goes through the man manned tunnel, he, apparently, has full authority to punch another guy straight in the balls. And by punch, I don't mean hit someone as hard as you can. You just give them a quick slap tap to the nuts. Girls are not untouchable in this tunnel of forced love. Every once in awhile, a girl will get her butt grabbed by a random non relative, and if you are a lucky 28 year old girl, your ass will grabbed by a frisky 12 year old boy.

The rest of the night went by without a snag. The mother/son dance, the father/daughter dance, the bouquet toss, the guarder toss, and the grand celebration came to an end with everyone having a blast. But the festivities didn't quite end there.

The after party at the hotel went on through out the night with everyone drinking and eating bbq from the wedding. I went to bed before everything finally came to a end for the night with everyone having a headache the next morning as a reminder of how much they partied the night before.

Wedding Season has Officially Started

We are only 11 days into 2012 and the wedding season has officially started for me and wont end until later this year.

The first wedding I attended was for a fraternity friend during the first weekend of the year in Amarillo, Texas (aka Satan's Taint). It was the longest six hour drive I have done mainly because when you look out the window, there is absolutely nothing to look at. Just a vast view of isolation and destitute. If you were lucky, you got to drive through an old racist town that had at least 2 working gas pumps and a non drive thru Arby's restaurant (which is the official restaurant of Satan's Taint).

The wedding itself was quick and painless, minus a couple of over reactions from the groomzilla and a choreographed dance in a middle of a speech.

The main sources of entertainment for this wedding was the prank war that was started with my room, which consisted of Colin, Trl, and myself, versus Frank. We stole his left dress shoe, all of the toilet paper in his room, put every piece of furniture on his bed, and gave him a 5 am wake up call. He just put a do not disturb sign on our door.

The other source of entertainment we had was a life sized stuffed Spiderman doll we brought with us and a trip to Cadillac Ranch where anyone can spray paint 10 1940 Cadillacs that are buried half way into the ground. It sounds stupid, be it was pretty cool to see.

My second wedding of the year will be during the second weekend of January for my friends John Michael Betik and Laura Driggers in Dripping Springs, Texas. I am actually very excited about this wedding because I always a great time at a Betik Wedding.

I looked at my calendar and I have either a wedding or a bachelor party to attend every month from January to October. I am in several of the weddings and will try to attend all of the parties and weddings which means I have to start saving for everything starting now because it will be expensive to pay for all of the hotel rooms, booze, gifts, and probably some bail money for the bachelor parties.

To keep up the excitement from the same wedding routine that I will follow almost every month, I will change my persona for some of the weddings that I will be attending. At one wedding, I may act like I am from Vermont with an emerging maple syrup conglomerate since I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I've had a rough week. What do you think holds up my hair and keeps it so slick.

I don't know what I will do at the other weddings, but I am sure that I can think of something.

New Year, Same Guilty Pleasures

New Years has come and gone and people are still trying to work on their 2012 resolutions. My resolutions are the usual: lose weight, save money, work on whatever I always wanted to do, and etc.

My problem for this year is what should I do for my "etc." portion of my 2012 resolution list. The conclusion I came up with is new to me. I am going to keep up with my guilty pleasures and not try to reduce them one bit.

I figure that I will continue to watch horrible teenage drama shows on ABC Family, damn you Lying Game for being surprisingly great and bad at the same time, keep on making stupid, immature kid jokes, and attempt to consume as many bread products as possible.

But if I start eating nothing but bread, I am more than sure that I will triple in size by March with the assistance of whatever crazy concoction the Condiment Kid will produce and pass off as a delicious dipping sauce (which they usually are).

So after much serious thought and consideration, I finally wrote a 2012 Resolution List that is very attainable and challenging at the same time and starting tomorrow I will:

1). Start washing my hands after I use the restroom.
2). Stop drinking orange juice after I just brushed my teeth.
3). Stop licking frozen flag poles.
4). Watch more movie remakes.
5). Go back to school to avoid paying my student loans.
6). Only eat white snow (I have been tricked too many times)
7) Keep it to myself that I have trouble with authority when I'm being interviewed.
8). Spend less than $1825 for coffee at Starbucks this year.
9). Claim all my pets as dependents on my taxes
10). Watch more cute and cuddly kitten videos on YouTube
11). Check my work e-mail account at least once this year
12). Switch my username to “password” and my password to “username” to make each a lot harder for hackers to figure out
13). Watch less T.V…. in standard definition
14). Start using Facebook for something other than Farmville and stupid quizzes
15). Help kids stay safe by not texting on my cell phone while eating McDonald’s McRib and speeding through crosswalks in school zones with a frost covered windshield
16). Avoid fingertip soreness by learning to play “Rock Band,” instead of a real guitar
17). Start a blog about how I would write more often if I had something important to write. Only make one blog entry and leave it published for years
18). Talk with a robot voice all the time
19). Lose weight by hiding it someone you'll never find it.
20). Gain enough weight to get on The Biggest Loser.
21). Buy new clothes big enough to account for next year's holidays.
22). Start smoking to lose weight
23). Build biceps by increasing reps of Ding Dong curls to 3 sets of 15
24). Start buttering my doughnuts with only I Cant Believe Its Not Butter
25). Eat more fruit... snacks

Even though I have a long list, I am more than confident that I can succeed at all of these resolutions in order to make a successful 2012.

Office Etiquette and Pet Peeves

I have worked in a office setting since I graduated from high school and I know some basic office etiquette rules that must be followed on a daily basis in order not to cause any fights or tense moments with co workers. One of my co workers, on the other hand, does not know any of these rules.

On Thursday, December 29, our department was informed that there was a good chance that we would get to leave early the next day for New Years Eve. According to our company policy, we can only shut down on major holidays which meant that someone had to stay until 5. Since there were only 3 of us on Friday, I figured it wouldn't be that hard to come to an agreement on who would stay. I, of course, was completely wrong.

The three of us that had to work on Friday were Alma, Melissa, and myself. Since Melissa was taking Monday and Tuesday off in order to have a 4 day weekend for her birthday that was on Monday, Alma and I thought it would be fair for us to leave early on Friday. We came to this conclusion since Alma wanted to spend as much time her son as possible before he went back to the Army and I only had a regular two day weekend. This decision was not acceptable to Melissa at all.

Apparently, Melissa is one of those people who believe that she needs an entire weekend to celebrate her birthday. And not just a regular weekend, but she requires to extend it with 2 additional days. She is also the type of person that if she doesn't get her way, she will bitch and moan about it until she does.

After 20 minutes of explaining to her why it was fair for her to stay until 5, which is just an extra 30 minutes than what she usually she stays anyway, she agreed on the condition that we buy her a foot long from Subway. The three of us agreed on the conditions and shook on it and made it official.

Five minutes later, Melissa is in Alma's office complaining that she feels that she was pressured into staying an extra 30 minutes and wanted to go back on the deal that she just made. For 10 minutes I had to hear Melissa complain on how she wanted to leave early and go home to watch soap operas instead of work. This is the first time that I have ever heard of a girl about to turn 30 who would rather watch soap operas than do something productive or at least entertaining with extra time off of work.

Several long, excruciating minutes later, the three of us reached a new agreement. Melissa would still get a foot long Subway sandwich and she would now come in 30 minutes later than scheduled so she would not have to work any overtime.

At this point, Melissa was ecstatic and happy over the new deal because her friends will get off of work the same time and she could just meet them right after work instead of having nothing to do for a couple of hours. I thought that would be the end of it since everyone was happy. Oh, and one thing I forgot to mention, we did not know if we were even going to be allowed to leave early or not on Friday.

The next morning, I woke up to the following bull shit text message on my phone from Melissa:

"I got ZERO sleep last night, I want u both to know how hurt I am by the
both of u. Alma, its up 2 u if u work or not on your bday...I choose not 2 work
on mine. The ONLY big holiday that I care about and is "mine" is New
Years...b-days may not b important 2 u guys, but it always has been & always
will b a big deal 2 me.

At least 1 of u could have said, listen we
were talking, & since it's ur bday, 1 of us will stay & u can go. Thank
u both for ruining my weekend, my new years & my 30th birthday."

At first, I started to laugh because I thought that this text message could be not serious at all. But then I reread the text and became annoyed as hell. One of my pet peeves is when people shorten words by only using a letter or a number. Instead of writing "birthdays may not be important to you guys, but it always has been and always will be bid deal to me" she wrote "b-days may not b important 2 u guys, but it always has been & always will b a big deal 2 me. "

If you cant actually spell out a word and tell me something, then I am not going to take it seriously, especially if it involves something stupid like the message above. I don't like to have a conversation and talk like an infant. I can understand if that Friday was her actual birthday, but it wasn't. It was on January 2 and that extra 30 minutes she stayed had no effect on her important "holiday" anyway.

When I came to work on Friday, she acted like everything was ok until 3 pm and Alma and I got to leave early. She started to complain again and acted like a 4 year old girl who didn't get her way.

On a side note, I had one hell of a good New Years this year and cant wait to see what 2012 has in store.

My 2012 Horoscope

This year puts you back in your wonderful watery element, Pisces. First off, Neptune, your ruling planet, will be moving back into your constellation in February for its full cyclic residency. You got a taste of this mystical infusion in 2011; now you can fully immerse yourself in the oceanic bliss of inspiration, oneness and compassion for the duration of 2012. You'll feel like you've come home to your true self. Whether you're an artist, healer or closet mystic, you'll have no choice but to move toward fulfilling the deeper longings of your soul. No longer can you deny how truly empathic and sensitive you are. It's time to channel those special qualities into proper use!

You'll be doing quite a bit of digging into your past (and even your ancestral roots) for answers this year as Venus, Jupiter and May's new Moon solar eclipse make significant contact with the core of your horoscope. This is the perfect opportunity to finally sever old fears, guilt or regrets. Consider 2012 your year to move forward into the present! You've been haunted by the ghosts of your past long enough.

Your career continues to evolve nicely under the auspices of 2012. You may experience some kind of radical peak around the full Moon eclipse in June impacting your career house - watch for significant meetings and messages around this time. The events and results of an eclipse usually take about six months to fully develop, so be patient and watch. Jupiter will offer his generous luck and assistance in your communication sector for the first half of the year until he moves on to your domestic sector. Get all your writing and other important correspondence finished before June, because the second half of 2012 could have you consumed in a hunt for a new home. Fortunately, things look quite lucky for you in real estate during the second half of the year, when Jupiter enters your domestic sector.