Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The Legend Of Musically Challenged Friend

Musically Challenged Friend and I were travelling through the Emerald Forest, actually it was the Enchanted Emerald Forest to be exact. We found ourselves in the Enchanted Emerald Forest because we were depressed because we have just heard of bunch of shitty music like Len's Steal My Sunshine.

As we were walking and talking through the forest, we past a groove of threes and encountered a dragon. The evil dragon breathing fire and shooting lasers and bright lights from his eyes and exploding trees next to us in order to intimidate us.

MCF and I were screaming for help as loud as we could. She would yell "Please, somebody please help us!?! Will some knight in shining armor come and save us?!?" But there was no knight or any help to be found because it was the Enchanted Emerald Forest and obviously knights in shinning armor cant enter the Enchanted Emerald Forest because of the disfigured trolls that live around the perimeter. The trolls only job is to keep the knights out and bar them from entering this special forest.

And as everyone knows, the Enchanted Emerald Forest is mainly for mythical characters such as your fairies, sprites, your creatures of the night or whatever you want to call them.

But as MCF and I were trying to escape, the dragon sat upon upon us and said "I will eat your souls". And you know, obviously we were very scared for our lives and that is when MCF took action.

MCF yelled "Kevin, don't worry, I will take care of this". So she jumped on her unicorn, where the unicorn was this whole time is a mystery to me, and rode up to the dragon to its most vulnerable spot, its heart.

The heart is the most vulnerable spot because it has not heart my friends. "Oh no, really" is what you may be asking yourself, but it is true, dragons are fucking heartless.

So MCF grabbed a branch off the tree and as she rode in closer to the dragon beast, she triumphantly screamed, "A foul upon thy dragon" and the stabbed the dragon in the area where the heart should be. The dragon's soul then escaped from the wound and vanished forever.

And that is how Musically Challenged Friend saved my life. And to this day, we haven't talked about those events that memorable day. You may not notice it, but MCF has a fake left leg.

As she fatally wounded the dragon, her unicorn was killed by a hiding Gypsy who happened to to be the dragon's right hand man. As the unicorn died, its horn flew off and tore off Musically Challenged Friend's left leg..

She refused to see the doctor because she did not want any medical records to exist about your heroic deed. The only thing that helps her deal with the pain in to ridicule anyone who listens to pussy rock such as Air Supply, Goo Goo Dolls, or, according to her, anything else that sucks donkey dick.

She is a True American Hero.

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