"Mister, I only deal in high-end weapons. All guaranteed stolen and traceable only to their original owners. All sales are final and all prices are negotiable.
Glock semi-automatic 9 mm. Tenifer matte finish, Polymer grip, fixed sights, 4 and 1/2 inch barrel, 22 ounces, double action and a 10 round magazine. Mister, I could hook you up with this gun for the low price of three hundred and "fitty" dollars - well below market value.
Tangfolio semi-automatic. This a 9mm too - seems to be the weapon of choice - try one and you'll understand why. Rubber grips, adjustable 3 dot sights, 4 and 1/2 inch barrel, 33 ounces. Check out the eye-catching extended beaver tail just above the grip. Got mad-ass double action and a surprising 16 round magazine. Mister, I want to sell you this gun and I can hook you up for the low price of 200 dollars.
Maybe you looking for something in a chrome finish. Something to impress the ladies. This right here is a Llama Mini-Max .38 Super Auto. semi-automatic. Fresh satin chrome, black rubber grip, 3 dot fixed sights, 3 and 1/2 inch barrel, skeletonized hammer with an extended slide release, eight capacity magazine and single action. Mister, I won't lie to you, this gun is not the bomb - it'll do the job, but it ain't all that. That's why you can walk out of here with this gun for the incredible low price of one hundred and "fitty" dollar.
Maybe you looking for power, mister. This gun got mad power, mad kick and mad reputation. That's right, it's the Colt .357 Magnum revolver. Rubber combat-style grip, fixed rear, ramp front sights, 2 inch barrel. Weighs in at a feather-like 21 ounces. 6 shot capacity with double action. Mister, if you're looking for impact, the Magnum will satisfy all of your needs.
I don't know you, mister, but you look like a man of style so maybe you in the market for a custom piece. Mister, it's your lucky day 'cause this gun got style to burn. You lookin' at the Les Baer Custom Premier Tactical 45. Fresh blue finish, deluxe grips, 5 inch barrel, 37 ounces, guaranteed to shoot 1 1/2 groups at a distance of 50 yards. Aluminum speed trigger, throated barrel, single action with 12 shot capacity magazine. I could see you with this gun, mister. And I can give it to you for the low price of seven hundred and ninety-five dollars.
Mister, these are my guns. All sales are final, and all prices are negotiable."
DAMN, NOW THAT IS A GOOD SALES PITCH.
Anyway, my friend Matt decided to throw himself a nice little party at a bar called Caves. And by little party, I mean he rented a portion of the bar out so all of his friends could drink for free.
About 16 of us showed up at 9 for the drinking festival in honor of Matt and we closed it down promptly at 2 am. Oh, and let me share you a couple of rules that had to be followed by all of the guests for Matt's Party.
Obviously, we were totally safe and got rides from Jess (because she is not that much of a drinker). And also, followed the rules to the T.
In case you are wondering, yes, Matt did get extremely drunk and did he damnedest to not following rules 2 to 4(especially rule 4) at all times.
Overall, it was a damn good party, even when it took us a couple of hours to put all of the pieces together.
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