The Longest Train Ride EVER

On an average day, it will take me 30 minutes to go from my office to the train parking lot where I park my car. This was not an average day. This was the train ride from HELL!!!

Apparently, a construction company was digging for something and was not smart enough to check with other companies to see if they had any important cable lines that were buried. I was they had because they cut the lines to the TRE train system and took out everything.

The train ride now took two and a half hours to get home. I was at least lucky because the remainder of the people who did not get on the ride at my stop had to take a city bus from Dallas to Fort Worth. In normal traffic that would only take about 30 to 45 minutes, in Dallas rush hour, it will take at least an hour at best.
 
Things turned ugly on the train while waiting to get to our final destination. Some people started to lose it and quickly turned to cannibalism. Passengers would tear off the heads of other fellow riders and feast on the brains from their bored bodies. Once the train finally made our arrival, the majority of the passengers were dead and the others didn’t say a word about what happened.

Some crazy things will happen to people when things don’t go the normal way. Take what happened to my cousin Walter for example, he jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, snap! The hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and it land safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.

I told you crazy things happen when their transportation gets all screwed up

Aunt Denise's Party

I am proud to say that my Aunt Denise has finished her cancer treatment and is becoming healthier and healthier every day. To celebrate this special occasion, her daughters, Julie and Jackie, threw her a congratulations party and invited the entire family. Stephanie and I went to show our support and we could not have been more proud for my aunt. Stephanie, myself and the rest of the family can’t wait to celebrate this annual occasion again next year.

Starting Spring with Me and My Monkey

The best way to start the Spring Season is to see a Beatles Cover Band (Me and My Monkey), eat some overpriced hamburgers and hotdogs, and see a great fireworks show. That is how Stephanie, her family and I started and I couldnt ask for a better time.

The Best Lunch Ever

Apparently everyone needs to do a food tasting. My boss and I went to Maggiano's Italian resturant to taste what we thought would be a couple of finger foods for our reception that we will be having later in the month.

Instead, we receieved 5 appetizers, 4 entrees and 2 deserts with a mini cheesecake all for the low, low price of nothing at all. We were completely unaware that we didnt have to pay a thing for all of the food that was brought to us.

When we received our 118 plus change bill and saw that everything was comped, it was the best feeling in the wrold. We tipped out waiter a generous amount and had 5 take home boxes each. Stephanie and I ate like a king and queen for the entire weekend.

The Beach Boys

After 50 years, they are still kicking ass and Stephanie and I had a blast at their reunion concert in Grand Prairie. 2 and a half hours of sweet California Beach Music. Granted, Stephanie and I were by far the youngest people in the crowd and we also did not get the memo that everyone was supposed to wear some sort of Hawaiian apparel. Overall, it was a bad ass concert and Stephanie and I cant wait to see them again.

LTC Patrick G. Lynch

Dec. 13, 1958 - Apr. 29, 2012 Patrick Gordon Lynch was born in Ft. Worth, TX. He grew up surrounded by extended family in Kansas City, KS. Patrick was a graduate of UMKC, and the Command and General Staff College at Ft. Leavenworth, KS. Following his late father, Patrick was an aide to Congressman Alan Wheat in the 1990s. His military career began in the MO National Guard as a member of Battery D, 129th FA, President Truman's unit. He later joined the Army Reserves, achieving many commendations for his service in Europe and Korea. Since completing a tour of duty in Iraq, he worked as a civilian contractor in Afghanistan and Baghdad. While there, he constructed a radio station to broadcast music (especially Irish) to be enjoyed by his co-workers. Between deployments, he enjoyed his work in computer technology and riding his Harley. Patrick was preceded in death by his parents, Joseph A. Lynch, Jr. and Mary Bergin Lynch, and brother Kevin B. Lynch. He is survived by his brother Joseph A. Lynch III and wife Kathy; brother Brian N. Lynch and wife Rita; nephews Joseph A. Lynch IV and wife Jamel, Thomas J. Lynch, Sean M. Lynch and wife Sara, and Kevin F. Lynch; aunt Joan Bergin, many cousins, and his dear great-niece Abigail D'Agata-Lynch, whom he met for the first time after his return from Iraq in the fall of 2011. A private service will be held at Ft. Leavenworth. Memorial donations to help needy Veterans would be appreciated by: Kansas City VA, Attn: Voluntary Services, 4801 Linwood Blvd., Kansas City, MO 64128 Fond memories and condolences for the family may be left at www.stineandmcclure.com ( Arr: by D.W. Newcomer's Sons Stine & McClure Chapel, 3235 Gillham Plaza, KC, MO) D.W. Newcomer's Sons Funeral Homes, Cemeteries, Crematories.816-931-7777

Read more here: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/kansascity/obituary.aspx?n=patrick-g-lynch&pid=157482119#storylink=cpy

Kevin The Cowboy

I have decided the only path to true manhood is by becoming a cowboy.  Step one is complete, I have bought western cut boots.  They are truly beautiful.  I will be wearing them everywhere.  Today I will complete step two, buying the full outfit.  Wrangler jeans, pearl snap shirts, and starch.  Now, get along little doggies YIPPE KI YAY!!!!

Kevin The Gardner

I am going to add a new job to my resume: professional gardener. No, I should be more exact: Master Professional Gardner Extraordinaire.

Stephanie and I decided to get some flowers and vegetables to grow in a garden that we have in the front and in the back of the house.

I have tried to grow a garden before by using the Topsy Turvy upside down planters, but they tomato and strawberry plants were dead within a week. I am hoping that I will have better luck this time around.

After a couple of weeks of planting and tending to all of the flowers and vegetables, things are turning out great. We already have some green peppers growing along with a ton of cilantro and all three of our zucchini plants blooming like crazy.

Since I know so little about gardening, Stephanie got me the Gardening Handbook for Dummies. So far I haven't killed anything, but I think it is mainly due to the fact that Stephanie is in charge and she just gives me the illusion that I am doing something right. She is pretty good at that.

Hopefully in a couple of weeks, I will have an update with pictures of all of our vegetable and flower garden.

Awesomely Good Looking Nails

I just wanted everyone to know that I have awesomely good looking nails. Somehow, Stephanie talked me into getting a pedicure and manicure with her before we go to Colin and Meredith's Wedding Shower.

I have never had a manicure or pedicure before and I wish I had one much earlier in life. The experience was awesome and I could see myself getting another one in the near future. And since my nails look so great, I think I may quit my day job and become a hand model full time.

The Gossology and Risk Exhibit

Once again, it is museum time and I was full of excitement for the new exhibits that were being shown at the Fort Worth Museum of Science (yes, I know, that is a shameless plug).

Stephanie and I went to the museum on a Sunday, mainly so we could get the free entrance deal that the museum offers on the first full weekend of the month. The first thing that we did before we actually saw the exhibit was the hurricane simulator.

As Stephanie and I walked in, we saw a walk in hurricane simulator that was a little larger than a phone booth that could fit two people comfortably. We put in two dollars to start the machine and the count down officially started. An alert sound immediately began with a voice over stated that it will become extremely windy in the small booth. Air was being blown in to the small area at 78 miles per hour. If you stood right in the middle of the booth, the wind would throw you against the wall because of its strength. The simulator only lasted a couple of minutes but it was very cool.

The Grossology Exhibit is basically what it sounds like. Everything that is gross, will be on display. Actually, it is what gross things that happens inside your body. The exhibit shows you how burps, farts, and body smells are made. Some of the things that were shown were pretty darn gross. One portion that was kind of gross was the walk-in nose that people could get into.

Once in the nose, you could hear and feel a sneeze form and then, achoo!!!! You felt the full impact of a wet, boogery sneeze. It was awesome, gross, but awesome.

Other displays that were shown in the Grossology exhibit were making burps and vomit from pumping stomach acid at a fast pace, smelling different types of body parts such as armpits, , butt, bad breath, and feet.

At the end of the Grossology exhibit, you could take a quiz about how much you learned from all of the displays. Apparently Stephanie and I could not retain that much information because we both received a grade of 42%. Whoops!!

After the Grossology Exhibit, the both of us went next door to to the Risk Exhibit and immediately took the offer of laying down on be of nails. Just to make sure the nails were real, I pressed down on the nails with a little bit of force, and yes, those were some real nails that I was about to lay on.

Stephanie and I each took turns laying on the bed of nails and it didn't hurt at all. The reason for that was because of weight distribution. See, I even learn things on the weekend.

The Risk portion of the exhibit was very interesting. It was about why people take risks and who is more likely to take risks. Apparently there is one scientific study called the "White Man" theory. The basis of the study is how white men do not belief there is risk of doing simple things such as driving cars, eating foods, or riding in a plane.

At the end of the exhibit, we took another test to see how risky we are. Apparently I like to take more risks than Stephanie, which makes me more awesome.

We ended our day by taking a 4D ride through an oil rig that ended up being a big commercial for some oil company that was based in Dallas. The two of us had a great time at the museum and cant wait for a new exhibit to open soon.