Bang Bang, You're Bleeding

"I don't know if we have enough bleach to clean up all of his blood." Hope that got your attention.

Over the past weekend, I went to Ennis, Texas to hang out in the country and do some country stuff. What is country stuff you ask? Well, I will tell you. You shoot guns, have a beer or 30, grill out, and try your hardest not to shoot yourself in the hand.

Paul, Katie, Boj, Jess, Matt Austin, and I went to Thomas and Deanna's house in Ennis to camp out and shoot some guns. Since they live in Ennis, we could shoot in their backyard because they live in the country. It is the type of place where you have to drive just to get to your neighbor's house and sometimes, you don't even have to use the roads.

People arrived any from 4 to 6 and once you got there, you immediately started to shoot some guns. We had a couple of 22s, 30-30s, a rifle that looked liked a damn cannon, and about a half a dozens of various types of handguns.

After several hours of shooting paint cans, beer bottles, and other objects that just happen to get in the way of our bullets, it was time to eat and call it a day for shooting since it was getting dark out.

Oh, before I go on, I need to tell you about a couple of rules that Thomas had informed us about. He asked us only to shoot at a certain direction, pick up the shell casings, do not shoot after dark, and be careful at all times. OK back to the story.

Everyone filled up on hamburgers, hot dogs, and various types of chips around a roaring fire to and enjoyed the rest of the night. Since we were done shooting, we started drinking a little more heavier and just bull shitted around with everyone.

I guess at one point, Austin got a little bored with this scenario and got up out of his seat, positioned himself between a couple a cars where the rest of the group was not insight and shot off a couple of rounds.

There was probably a 10 second pause between the two shots. The group was joking around and telling Austin to use his keys to open his car instead of using his gun. Then out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Austin walking away from the cars and towards Thomas' house.

He came back a couple of minutes later with a full roll of paper towels wrapped around his hand and blood just spewing out of his hand. At first, he claimed that he just cut his hand a little bit but there was just too much blood for a cut to do that kind of damage. Luckily, Matt, who happens to be a RN, was there and checked out the wound.

Matt confirmed that yep, Austin clearly shot himself in the hand. When I looked at it, it didn't seem that bad at first, but if he moved it all in any direction, blood was just come gushing out. It was kind of cool and kind of not at the same time.

Austin said that he was just going to sleep it off and wait until the morning to do something about his hand but everyone convinced him to go to the hospital that night. The only person who could drive Austin to the hospital at that point was Jess and she was about 20 minutes away.

Once Jess finally got there, Austin was on his way to the hospital but had to leave his car at Thomas' house just in case he went into shock. During his car ride, Austin called us and told us to check the house just in case he got blood anywhere on the floor. Paul, Katie, Matt, and I check the house and Austin sure did leave his mark at the house.

The house basically resembled a crime scene of some sorts. Blood was everywhere. It was on the patio outside, on the door, the door handle, the walls, the floors, electrical sockets, tables and all over the sink. This is when Matt said "I don't know if we have enough bleach to clean up all of his blood", but thankfully we did. It took us a bit to clean everything up and we still somehow to miss a couple of spots.

Since we were cleaning up blood, our conversation quickly went from how to clean up this mess to "how fast could we dispose a body if we needed to". We logically discussed and determined that we could get Austin's car to Mexico in less than 12 hours by using a tow truck. Obviously we had to clean the car out just to make sure there was no evidence of him being in Ennis at all. I know this is highly morbid but it helped past the time.

We also were making some damn good one liners at his expense as well. Such one liners were "He sure does know how to go out with a bang", "He always has some sort of backhanded comeback", or "Come on Austin, don't give up just give it a shot".

The rest of us camp out on Thomas' land that night and the next morning we woke up bright and early so I could drive Austin's car back to his apartment in Dallas. His hand was wrapped up in gauze but at least he was OK. Can't wait to this all over again next weekend.