Cousin Stephanie is an RN

During the 1st weekend of December, I planned to go to Kansas City in order to attend my cousin Stephanie's RN Graduation Party. I was really excited about the trip with only one exception, that damn cold weather. A high of 32 degrees is a little too cold for me. I am pretty sure that people could tell that I was from out of town because I had a ton of layers on while the locals were roaming around in shorts and a sweatshirt. F-ing showoffs.

When I arrived in Kansas, my Aunt Cathy was the unlucky one who had to pick me up. She took me to see my cousin Daniel at his work at Aristocrat Motors and then we had lunch with my other cousin Dan at a place called Fric and Frak.

What was supposed to be a nice quiet lunch quickly became "shot time" for my cousin Dan. Now, to be honest, I did participate in one shot of rumpermints (probably the most disgusting liquor ever developed by man) along with a couple of beers.

From then, my Aunt Cathy decided to part ways with Dan and I and head home. The two of us braved the rough streets of Kansas in order to meet his brother/my cousin Dirk, who was down the street at the house they live in. And by brave the streets of Kansas, I mean drive by the several antique stores and another bar.

The three of us decided to bar hop for awhile and eventually made our way to the Granfalloon Bar where I meet up with my friend Hilary and some of my cousin's friends. And this is where Sober Cousin Dan Who Enjoyed To Have A Beverage Or 5 became Who In The Hell Did Cousin Dan Become So Drunk And Its Not Even 6 Yet. Its a very scientific process on how this transformation happened. If you follow the steps below closely, this process can happen to you as well.

1. Have a beer of any sort
2. Take a shot of any sort
3. Resists any temptation of food of any sort
4. Repeat 37 Times

And that is basically what happened to Dan. From this point, Dan didn't want to out any more and just wanted to stay at the bar with a couple of his friends. So after Hilary left, Dirk and I decided to go to Walsh's Corner Cocktail to get a drink and something to eat before we met up with his girlfriend Danielle and her friends.

A group of us decided to go to a place called the Czar Bar. I will be honest, this is where it gets kind of fuzzy for me. From what I do remember there was dancing on tables, obnoxious talking, shots, beers, and what appears to be the longest car ride home that ever existed known to man.

The next day, I don't think that I have ever felt so horrible before as I did. Not only was it a bad hangover, but it was also to 19 degree weather outside. To aide this situation, a choice had to be made, a clear choice, and it was obvious that there was only one choice. Get the greasiest slice a pizza in town.

There was a pretty cool pizza place just down the street from my cousins' house that has New York style pizza. I grabbed a couple of slices, consumed them, and quickly retired back to their house and took a nap until I had to go to my cousin Stephanie's RN Graduation Party.

The party was going to be at my Uncle Bob and Aunt Linda's House (Stephanie's parents) and almost all of the family was there to celebrate. The DeSpain Family was MIA as usual and cousin Dan was gone because we was still hungover from the night before.

There were tons of food, family, drinks, and entertainment to last the whole night. The main party of the night started inside so Paul (Stephanie's husband) could watch the OU game but quickly went into the garage where there were tons of coolers filled with tasty beverages of all kinds to warm anyone up during a cold Kansas City Winter Night. In case you don't know what I am talking about, I mean tons of alcohol.

One thing that saved us from freezing to death in Club de Garcia was the hugh propane heater that Bob (Cousin Julie's boyfriend) got from one of his friends. It definitely keep the garage warm and served as a useful lighter for all of the smokers.

It was now becoming closer to 3 am and the almost everyone had left with the exception of a hand full of cousins. With the majority of the drinks gone, it was time to quickly find a bed or place on the floor to sleep for what was left of the night.

I was woken up a couple of hours later by the sound of a trio of young hooligans known as Dominic, Anthony, and Mason (my cousin Alex's kids) whose age range from young, younger and youngest. The rest of the cousins quickly woke up and had things to do for the day with the exception of Bob. So the two of us got some breakfast at a place called Sharp's for what had to be one of the best omelette's I had in my life. Plus, it didn't hurt that they were serving a full bar by 10 am. And considering the night we just had, we may have spent too much time at this fine establishment.

The two of us finished our meal and headed over to cousin Dan's house so I could get my stuff and head over to Uncle Dan's house for Sunday Night Taco Madness at his house. After a quick visit with Uncle Dan and Aunt Denise, it was time to go over Bob and Julie's house where cousin Jackie and her boyfriend Kyle were staying as well. Since everyone was pretty much beat from the night before, everyone quickly fell asleep.

The next morning, Bob took me to the airport where we had a couple of drinks and I safely made it back home to Texas alive and liver in tact.